20SUMNS: Tunnel Vision- 3 Tips to Meeting Potentials at a Concert
The original purpose of this blog was not for advice. Not only do I feel inadequate of giving advice, but I am a firm believer that when it comes to finding love, the only person you can really listen to is yourself. I am not a huge fan of the "relationship/dating coaches" " the "matchmakers" only because while they can help facilitate success in the love arenas, having an idea of who you are and life lessons through trial and error are the best teachers. Dating is an inward process and in this day and age, it's harder to see that. The stories and the experiences I feel are worth sharing can always lead someone to look inward and to go after what they truly desire (once you have an idea of what that is.) One of the easiest and most fun ways I have met some great people, friends and more, have been at concerts. The energy is always positive. There is already so much common ground, and many in these spaces are open to new people, experiences, and opportunities. So you're at a concert...how do you go about meeting someone new? Below are some things I have tried and have had success in meeting a potential (friends and lovers) at a concert.
1. Go by yourself.
It is so much easier to apporach and be approached when you are by yourself. You are more interested in branching out and finding friends when you don't have someone else to be up under. Concerts are very fun to enjoy by yourself! The perfect and one of my favorite self dates. You already have the music you love and like minded people around. Step out of your comfort zone if you haven't already. Opening up conversation on your own at a concert is so easy, just because you already have so much common ground. Everyone has paid their hard earned money to see this artist, so most times they're a fan that you can easily talk about the music with. Your first time seeing this artist? What's your favorite song/project? You been to this venue/ go to shows often? You like the opener? Such easy, low pressure questions that people at a show are usually excited to talk about because they like and are excited for the artist. Proximity is everything and simply being near someone you are interested in and having these questions in mind make it so easy to chat and get to know someone. Look up some upcoming shows in your area and see when's the next time you can take yourself on a date and try out some basic conversation with someone new.
2. Ask for a lighter.
This is one of the easiest and most effective ways I have opened up conversation with people I am interested in talking to more. Most concert venues are smoke friendly and most people at concerts are smoke friendly as well. Many times a potential has a lighter and when they are equally interested, if they don't have one, they will find one for you. It's much easier to segway into more communication when you've bonded with someone after using their things.
3. Chill Near the Bar
A tale as old as time. The social lubricant. Treat yourself to a drink at the bar and linger there to easily meet new people who are also trying to indulge. SO many people access the bar at shows and it is usually very easy to open up conversation in these areas after people order their drinks. Many venues also have multiple bars, so you can move around. I usually go to shows a little early to make sure I can explore the venue and attend to all of my substance needs before the opener comes out. I feel at concerts people are their most authentic selves and more open to any other likeminded people than almost any other spaces. Bars, clubs, events, don't give you the commonality that a concert gives you even at the bar. Try chatting with people after they pick up their drink. They are ready to turn up, happy they got something to sip on, and very ready for the show.
These suggestions are also tied to substances that I know a lot of people don't indulge in. Asking for a lighter for a CBD cigarette or a sage stick are just the same. Ordering and chilling near the bar can definitely be for a cranberry or non-alcoholic beer as well. Hanging or even being in line at the merch table is also an easy way to make conversation with those around you. I don't want people to feel like if they are over the influence, they can't try these suggestions if they want to. Try new things and open yourself up in a way that is authentic and comfortable for you.
A few other notes: In regards to these tips, I am mostly talking about smaller more intimate venues. Maybe I'll soon write about some of my favorite music venues in Atlanta. While many of these actions could be the same in larger venues, I just don't go to those kind of shows as often, so I can't speak on it as much. Shows at the Mercedes Benz or State Farm come with their own set of struggles and culture that I am not as familiar with.
I complied a playlist of some really dope artists performing at intimate venues in Atlanta this summer. Check out the playlist and if you like some of the artists consider seeing them live and making some new friends! I may see you there ;)