20SUMNS: Lessons Learned from Demarcus
Updated: Apr 4, 2022
Lessons Learned from Demarcus:
Dating a guy with no car is just not for me. He wasn't the first, but he became the last and made that a dealbreaker for me. (We can revisit this later.)
Reconciling after a hiccup that was a MAJOR problem for me (he really had no problem putting me in danger and I was not okay with that) does not mean there has to be space for us to continue. He simply was not the one for me. There are just some fundamental things two people should be on the same page about if they want to date in a healthy manner and I want to be with someone who puts my safety above all else and I should not have to compromise on that. If you KNOW what you’re asking for isn’t too much and that person is not giving it to you...they’re just not it. Move along.
Having the same bday does not mean a thing🤣 You horoscope, astrology, tarot girlies can leave me alone.
Overlooking problems for the sake of "giving someone the benefit of the doubt" was just me lacking boundaries and being too afraid to be honest with him and more importantly myself. Watch out for the folks always talking about “they heart too big.” That use to be me and I’ve come to find out that what that usually means is…I was nonconfrontational and thus a coward when it came to standing up for myself and that I lacked the self esteem to KNOW I could leave any person alone who was not filling my cup the way I needed. (The way I DESERVED, but didn’t know/believe I deserved.)
And lastly, on the tip of honesty, I could have found a tactful way to let him know that being in a roach infested home was just not comfortable for me and was distracting from the meaningful time I could have been having with him in a different setting. Sometimes honesty can hurt regardless of your intentions.
Can’t wait to share more life and lessons. Currently toasting to love. 🥂 And here’s a story playlist that explains the cycle of love…through my eyes. It’s one meant to be played in order. 🤎