20SUMNS: Introducing Amir

I found myself in such an interesting and unexpected predicament...with someone I would have never guessed would have me out here looking crazy. Annoying. Either way, let me get into it. So, most know that I started my professional career right after college as a middle school teacher...

SN: Let me say this. If you are single and ready to mingle, the public school system is a place of abundance. Lmao, I worked as a teacher for 3 years and every single year I was working in a new school. In each school there was always a fellow teacher, coach, parent, somebody that would try me. I didn't succumb (for the most part), because most know it is not smart to shit where you eat, but there seemed to be quite a few potentials always around. So, dating wise being in a school may be your move.

Jokes aside, let me get into my story. My last year of teaching was at a middle school in Atlanta. While all of my school experiences were about the same in regards to interests...it was nice to actually work with a good bit of men who I just genuinely became friends with. Amir was one of them. A "teacher" around my age who I could always have a laugh with or talk a little shit about the school with. He was smart and never tried me. Never flirted with me, always respectful, and like I said, just an all around cool coworker. Until...

I won't go into details about how I was basically fired from this school, but after a couple of years not working there, I heard from homeboy again via IG. It was nice to reconnect and catch up and we decided to grab drinks one day and continue convo in person. Now, I thought nothing of this. I was never attracted to or interested in friend and I was looking forward to just talking again and catching up. We go to the rooftop bar of Ponce City Market and had a great time. Good drinks, good convo. He was telling me a lot about his new ventures, his dating life (currently single), and some things going on with his family. After a couple drinks friend wanted to get high and I had no reservations inviting him back to my place for a blunt and to finish our chats.

Well once we get back to my place, he was definitely on a different tip. Yes, wanting to smoke, but also wanting me closer to him, wanting to touch me, and that is when things got weird. He ended up forcing a very sloppy kiss on me and after that I'm looking like...

I went ahead and called it a night. It was weird, unexpected, and slick gross if I'm being honest. Why do men always do shit like this? Why couldn't we have just kept it cute? I knew then, I had no interest in seeing him again since now I knew what he was on. SAD. He texted me later that night and I forgot my exact text, but I remember using the word "aggressive" in response to his sneak attack kiss. Things were over. Thought nothing else of it and went back to my regularly scheduled programs. The next day, at work I received a phone call from an unknown number. I don't answer those. This number however, called me again right after and usually when that happens, I feel maybe it's important or something I should attend to. I also never get calls in the middle of the day, so I was a little worried and decided to answer. Here is how that dialogue went.

Me: Hello?

Phone: Is this Bri?

Me: Yes?

Phone: Did you fuck Amir? This is his girlfriend.

*deep sigh* Chileee, what. Why is this random girl cussing on my phone at 2 in the afternoon? The audacity. She brought up the fact that she went through Amir's phone, that I used the word aggressive and she wanted details of what we had going on. I informed her that text was in repsonse to JUST a kiss. I did apologize to homegirl, explaining how I had no interest in her man, that he never mentioned her and even told me he was single. "Sorry for the confusion." I hung up.

It took a minute for it to register. I am NOT that girl (maybe I am), but HOW is someone "coming to me as a woman" in the middle of my workday?! How did I end up in this predicament? Over a man I was not even interested in? Madness, and I was particularly upset because whyyyy is homegirl calling ME? Immediate lesson: I for sure shouldn't have apologized. I did nothing wrong.

Amir got a smooth cuss out because I felt he, even surface level, knew me well enough to know that is not the type of shit I want to be dealing with. Ever. And once I really sat back and thought about it, I should've told "girlfriend" about herself as well. The only person she should have had words for was her man. To call a stranger asking about their sex life is absurd. Embarrassing.

Lessons Learned:

1. I had to for sure keep men at a further distance from me. Regardless of my perception of their intention. Clearly we weren't just friends in his mind. Maybe it was me inviting him to my home that gave him the idea, but I feel this is no excuse. We had been cool for years. Give a nigga an inch, so they say huh?

2. A word to my friends as well: I want better for us. There is never a reason to approach a stranger on your partner's behalf in my opinion. HE is the one who made a commitment to you. HE is the one that violated your relationship. Why is the other person even being brought into the equation? I understand it takes two to tango, but sometimes the other person doesn't even realize they showed up to a dance. When there are riffs in a relationship the only person who should be addressed is the person you are in the relationship with.

Learned a lot and hate that I had to lose a friend, but good riddance. There are too many other things for any of us to be concerned with honestly. The world is collapsing. Either way, forever growing. Forever grateful for lessons and as always, I am still toasting to love.

I listen to this playlist often to get myself back in the loving mood. NRNB, a collection of "new" R&B because the genre is not dead. Love on me! Check it out.

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/12ot9OGA0AkcOsB66ziGuP