Updated: Apr 1
Okay friend, there are outliers with almost any statistic and exceptions to every rule. I am by no means judging anyone on a dating app or saying you can not find the love of your life on there. However if you've been on them for awhile with no luck, or if they are the only way you have met new potentials, it may be time to reconsider your dating strategies. This commentary is solely based off my own personal experiences. Here are 3 reasons you should get off the dating apps.
1. Anything worth having is worth working hard for.
Words to live by (quick shout out to OG Fall 14). Many people do not take these apps seriously. They don't feel the need to invest simply because as soon as one person makes the slightest mistake, there is already someone new waiting in their inbox. It is the cost of convenience. Who really appreciates things that come so easy? These apps take out the hard work and true vulnerability that comes with putting yourself out there outside of your phone. Some people have their friends scrolling for them. Some people are on these apps mindlessly swiping just to find a plug. Or have made a whole profile simply for the business of coming across people looking for “hmu ⛽️“ in their bio. It’s not anything people have to invest hard work in and I’m sure you’ve noticed that.
Putting more intention and effort into dating by not taking the easy way out, almost always yields positive results. Not being on apps opens you up to thinking about other ways to meet someone new. It opens you up to being more active in real life. Meeting new people can be fun and exciting and doesn't have to take a million swipes and 20 dry ass text convos. The hard work of being open and willing to engage with new people you do not know can bust down huge romantic doors. Why do you think a running joke on these apps is what lie y'all are going to tell people about how you met? People want the romantic story of you locking eyes from across the room at the cute lounge. The story of love found at a concert or the dog park. Go out and make that happen.
2. Many people hide behind those screens.
Do you genuinely think the hundreds of matches you come across would have the courage to step to you if you all crossed paths in the park, at the grocery store, or on a night out? Do YOU have the confidence to approach someone you may be interested in if you saw them in real life? We ain’t in the metaverse yet friend. The apps take away the bravery and assertiveness needed to go after what you want. Someone who makes life happen and not just waits for life to happen to them.
How many times have you pulled up to a date and with that first lil one arm side hug, you realize with the swiftness that you don't even care to get to know the person? The connection just isn't there. Meeting someone in real life for the first time saves a lot of time in the "is there initial attraction" phase of getting to know someone. For a convo in person to even make it to another meeting, the connection would probably have to be pretty solid.
3. They take up a lot of valuable time.
How long does it take to swipe through hundreds of profiles, have small chit chat with someone, coordinate a date, and decide if it's even worth your time to actually meet? You use all this time to meet someone only to find that you don't like their voice, they're not nearly as witty outside of texts, or their pics are completely misleading. It only takes seconds to assess someone right in front of you. Seconds to read their energy from a stare, a slight touch, a mirrored action. You could spend time talking to someone for 2 weeks only for them to ghost you the day of your first date and those 2 weeks will never return. Your time could probably be used much more efficiently with different interactions.
Take time to assess how much time you are investing in these apps. How many interactions prove to be fruitful and if it is worth your time. Being "bored" is not a good reason to engage with others on an app meant for dating. Being "lonely" really isn't either. If you've given the apps some time and nothing has panned out, it may be time to try something new. Remember insanity is doing the same thing and expecting different results. It might be time to log off baby. Let me know if you do or how it has been going if you have!
Have a friend who may need a push? Share and send them here too :)